Mother's day
by kind.of.a.writer
Summary: Sure, Jiaying is nice and everything, but she's not her real mother, she's not... May. And now May hasn't talked to her since she attacked her with her powers, how can Skye make it better in mother's day?


I know I've not been posting lately, but school is killing me! I'll try to write more and update my other fics soon :)

 **Okay so, I know this says Mother's day and that today's thursday. However I won't be having my laptop on sunday so I decided to post it now, I hope you like it!**

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Skye had never had a mother. Like, ever. She had been adopted several times and had now found her biological mother, but she didn't have her 'mom'. She didn't have that single person you can always rely on; she didn't know what it is like to have someone who is always looking after you, doing what's best for you even if that means giving up what they want or need.

Fine. She did have someone who protected her and taught her a lot of things. It wasn't the motherly figure she used to daydream about as a kid; that sweet woman who would hug her and buy her cute dresses and who would talk to her about boys or prom or stuff. She had someone who kicked her ass at sparring, didn't exactly smile very often and who wasn't the hugging type at all.

And no, she wasn't talking about Jiaying. Her biological mother was a little cold in her own way, but still nice. She was a good mother... But she wasn't _her_ mother. It would all be easier if she was, though, because she wouldn't be in that huge mess and she would be able to run away with her and forget about S.H.I.E.L.D. That was just not an option for her, of course. Because how could she chose the family who had abandoned her over the first real family she had ever had?

No. She was actually thinking of May; also known as statue, the Ice queen and the Cavalry. There was no reason to deny what actually happened, not really, it was just that May had become for her something way more important than a mere S.O. She looked up at her and cared about her and admired her fondly.

She wasn't quite sure about when or how it had all happened. When she had met her she had felt instantly curious, but how to blame her? Skye was new at the agency and that was _Melinda May_ , the legendary specialist who everybody seemed to fear. Skye had grown up surrounded by secrets and questions about her past. May was another puzzle to solve, a very fascinating one. Everybody knew about her, but nobody actually knew _her_. Okay, maybe Coulson. But the girl knew he wouldn't tell her anything May wouldn't want her to know.

 _You're an idiot_ she told herself once more. She was sitting on the gym floor, alone. She didn't know what to do. May was supposed to train with her, but they hadn't spoken since the incident. She had tried to apologize, but after countless failed attempts she didn't know what else to do.

The closest thing to a mother she had ever had was a few feet away from her and she couldn't even talk to her.

"Hey" said someone from the door.

She didn't jump startled and instead acted as if she had just finished her Tai chi routine. She wasn't going to let anybody know how miserable she felt. One of the many things May had taught her was how to hide her true feelings, and she knew how useful it could be.

She turned around and saw Coulson, who was standing at the entry of the gym with a cup of coffee and the gray suit he wore on weekends. His presence didn't really surprise her. He used to watch her train with May. She suspected he enjoyed watching his partner relaxed and smiling occasionally.

"Why are you up so early?" she asked, trying to remain cool. "It's Sunday, I thought you'd be sleeping"

"Everybody's up, actually" he replied, entering. He left his cup on a bench and approached her side.

"Busy day?"

"No, not really" he admitted with a small shrug. "More like an important one. Everybody's calling their mothers"

 _Mother's day_. Right. One of the many celebration dates she had never actually celebrated.

She nodded to show she had understood. "Sure. I get it; of course everyone wants to call their mothers" She turned around to grab a towel and wipe her brow. She had spent the last fifteen minutes lost in her thoughts, but the director didn't need to know that.

However he was an expert in reading blank faces and he didn't buy it. "She still hasn't talked to you?" He wasn't really asking, though. She looked up to meet his gaze and realized that it didn't make him any happy either.

Skye sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

"Not at all" said the director. "I talked to her earlier" Maybe talking was pushing it too much, she thought, for May was not the kind of person who talks about her problems. Nevertheless, Skye knew that the two senior agents had some kind of secret silent language only they could understand. Besides, maybe May was an ice queen, but just as she could hide her feelings from the rest of the world he was just as good at reading her. "She's not mad, you know. At least not at you"

"She hasn't spoken to me in days…" she muttered. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"She's not exactly a talker" he said softly. "She just needs some time. However, have you tried to tell her what you want her to know?"

"Like a million times, but she won't let me apologize…"

"She doesn't want you to apologize" he replied. "She's just… hurt"

Great. Now she officially felt like the worst person on the earth. Even Coulson seemed to notice it, because he quickly talked again;

"I'm sorry. I mean… Skye, why do we hurt people? Not emotionally, I'm talking about physically" he asked her. She just looked at him, biting her bottom lip to avoid bursting into tears. "Because we consider them a threat. To our power or pride, to our territory, or to someone we love. She doesn't want you to apologize because…"

"… She thinks I attacked her because I saw her as a threat" Skye finished, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh, my God. She thinks I thought she would hurt me. She thinks I believe she's dangerous"

"Exactly" muttered the director. He gave her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. "That's what hurt her"

"God, no wonder why she hates me..."

"She doesn't hate you" he replied. "Remember when we fought, back in Providence? I hurt her that time, and what did she do?"

"Ran away… just to help you and get some files, right?"

"Yeah. She shuts people out when she's hurt or scared, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want them in" he said with a sad voice.

"I need to talk to her" said Skye, walking toward the door. "Where is she?"

"In the cockpit" he answered in a confidential tone. "Go and find her, and don't give up. She's too goddamn stubborn"

"I won't" she said.

Skye made her way through the base in silence, trying to decide the best way of getting more than a sharp _Don't_ as an answer. As she passed the lab she saw Jemma talking and smiling on her phone, presumably talking with her mother. That was a little encouragement to go on.

When she reached the door of the cockpit she knocked the door shyly, but steadily.

Her only answer was the silence.

She sighed and entered the security code that opened the door in case of emergency. And that was a big one. Skye took a few small steps inside. May was sitting on her usual spot at the cabin, staring at the concrete wall as if it were some kind of masterpiece.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked. May didn't look at her. She didn't run away either, which was more than she had achieved on previous attempts. "Great"

 _Fucking perfect_ , she thought anyway. They had been in that same position several months before, when they didn't even talk to each other. With the time and the chaos they had gotten really close, she was everything she needed in a mother, and now it seemed as if they were back at the beginning; both of them sure the other hated them.

She studied her face from the corner of her eye. May was thinking, that was obvious. "Don't kill Coulson for telling me where you are" she muttered when the older woman frowned slightly. "He just wanted to help. None of this is his fault"

Nothing.

She tried again. "I… I'm sorry. I know… I just… would you please just let me talk?" she begged as if May were trying to escape.

"Talk" said May, finally looking at her.

"I… I'm sorry, okay? What I did was wrong and stupid and I'm really sorry" she said. She felt a few tears in her eyes and the classic yet annoying knot on her throat. "And I know you have your reasons to be mad 'cause I was just acting as an ungrateful girl and I wish I knew why on earth I always screw everything up and…"

"Stop" May stood and so did Skye. "You didn't do anything, you just learned to use your powers and that's good for you. My job was to teach you how to protect yourself, and now it's clear you don't need me anymore. Bobbi will be a good S.O. and Jiaying will help you with the rest"

They stared at each other for a few seconds. That was the longest thing Skye had ever heard coming out from her. And it was all bullshit.

"I don't want Jiaying to teach me" she finally said, her voice turned into a barely audible whisper. "She's… nice. But she's not what I need. She can't teach me… She's not everything I want to be" she said. The tears were already reaching the thick carpet of the floor, leaving a small humid trail on her way down her cheeks, but she didn't care. "You are everything I want to be… And I'm so, so sorry. Because you… I love you. You're the closest thing to a mother I have. And I can't stand this. If you're mad and you want to yell at me just do it, it's fine. But don't pretend I don't exist"

May didn't answer at first. She limited to look at her, her expression both empty and full of emotion at the same time. "I'm not mad" she finally said. Her voice was dry. It wasn't rude, just dry. It felt as if she had tried to absorb her feelings with a sponge.

"Then what?" Skye replied.

"I just doubt I'm the person you need" she admitted. "Nobody can love me"

"That's not true" she said gently. "Fitz and Simmons and the others love you. Coulson really loves you, you can't deny that. And I love you too, even if you don't want me around, which I totally understand…"

May shook her head. Skye had never seen her looking anything like scared, but in that moment she looked just terrified. "It's not that. But, you know about Bahrain and I… You shouldn't…"

"I'm not going anywhere" said Skye. Skye was finally starting to realize that the fact of she knowing what had happened only made her even more scared of the opinion she might have of her. "I'm not afraid of you. Just scared of losing you, because I really need you"

Skye cleaned her tears with the side of her hand. That was it. She had said it all. She cursed herself when a sob escaped from her throat. To be honest she didn't feel any better. She was just standing there. Waiting for May to say something. Anything would be better that that agonic expectation.

Finally May took a deep breath. Then she took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I love you too" she whispered.

Skye smiled and couldn't help but throwing her arms to her neck. Maybe it was too soon for that, but hearing those words was more that she could handle. She started to cry a bit harder when May hugged her back, this time holding onto her tightly. "I'm so, so sorry" she sobbed. "Please, forgive me. I just… Jeez, I'm a mess" She commented when they pulled apart for an instant. "You have no idea of how much I need you, and I meant everything I said"

"Everything?"

"Everything" she nodded.

May let out a tiny smile and without any words she just kissed her forehead. Skye hugged her again and buried her head on her shoulder.

Mothers are wonderful, one of the only reasons this world hasn't gone insane. They help us when we're sad or scared or angry and even when we want to think we don't need help at all. They give us everything they can and even more. They are… mothers. We love them, we get mad at them, and sometimes we just hate them.

Skye now understood that. She also understood that she was capable of hurting her and that May could too. But that was alright. She was twenty six, a gifted and trained grown up…, so what? She needed her, as much as everyone needs a mother.

May was her mother. She was not cuddly or sweet or smiley. She didn't need that, though. May loved her and, no matter what happened, she would always be there for her. And that was all she needed.

"Happy mother's day" she whispered.

May grinned a bit. After a little pause they returned to the gym to train. Together.

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Please write some reviews! ;) Thank you for reading, let me know what you think!

(Sorry for my grammar and typos! Englsih is not my first language and I'm not a very good writer)


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